Want to Empower Your Team? Change How You Listen
One of the biggest mindset shifts I’ve had as a leader? Realising that the way I listen directly shapes the way others show up — their confidence, their decisions, their comfort in sharing their perspective and their development.
Under pressure, I used to default to listening to fix. The more team members or tasks on the To-Do list, the more questions, the more issues — the faster I moved to solutions. Divide, conquer, action, close out, move on.
It may have been efficient, it felt helpful and resourceful. But it wasn’t always creating the environment I actually felt supported the culture I was fostering.
The 3 Listening Modes Leaders Default To
I thought the only listening mode was active, I was wrong. Drawing on the work of Jennifer Garvey Berger, there are three core modes of listening that often show up in leadership:
1. Listening to Fix
This is the go-to in high-pressure environments (and in property & development management, from my perspective). It’s fast, transactional, and focused on getting from A to B. We ask:
What’s the issue?
How do we resolve it?
What are the actions?
It's useful in a crisis. But over time, it can disempower people — reducing their thinking to just problems for you to solve.
2. Listening to Win
This one is more destructive. I’ve noticed it in myself when I feel strongly about a topic. I sit, listening to other opinions — but really, I’m gathering arguments to challenge it. Waiting for the space to defend my perspective and "win" the debate. My experience is that this often creates more peers listening to win, and it often needs someone who is not as invested to break up the battle.
It can feel like influence, but it erodes trust and space for difference. People become cautious, dialogue becomes debate and real innovation gets stifled.
3. Listening to Learn
The most developmentally powerful — and the most challenging. This means listening with a genuine willingness to be changed by what you hear (removing the ego). Not jumping in. Not persuading. Just staying curious.
A Shift in Practice
One moment stands out: A team member asked whether we should update a company policy. I was deep in focused work and almost dismissed it with, “No — not a priority", but I caught myself. Instead I asked, “What makes you feel that change might be needed?”
It opened a different kind of conversation — one where other perspective could take shape before mine weighed in.
Interestingly, the team member later told me the question felt like I was suddenly putting them under a spotlight. It made me realise that even well-intended curiosity can feel confronting if it’s not the norm. Changing this style overnight might not be the answer, but noticing your default and shifting this slowly towards listening to learn can have lasting positive impacts.
Over time, my team member's confidence grew and decisiveness strengthened. I was creating space for them to think out loud, explore critical analysis and reasoning, not just execute.
Why This Matters for Leadership
It creates psychological safety (lots of chat on this in workplaces at the moment) - leaders who listen without judgment or interruption foster environments where people feel safe to speak up, share dissenting views, and take interpersonal risks.
It supports increased motivation and autonomy - when employees are heard (not just managed) they feel more in control and intrinsically motivated.
It promotes deeper development - listening to learn invites people to engage with complexity, reflect more deeply, and stretch their thinking — a key aspect of adult development.
Increases organisational learning & innovation cultures - open, exploratory dialogue enhances shared learning and adaptability — essential in fast-changing, ambiguous environments.
It offers greater perspective viewing which is likely to lead to more well-considered problem solving across an organisation for business sustainability.
In other words: The way we listen shapes the way our people grow.
Want to shift from fixing to learning? Start with better questions:
Here are a few I now keep in my back pocket:
What’s your sense of what’s really going on here?
What have you noticed that I might have missed?
What would feel like progress from your perspective?
If you could try anything, what would you do?
What do you think we’re not talking about that we should be?
These kinds of questions don’t just get answers, they develop people.
This isn’t about being passive or indecisive. It’s about being intentional; knowing when to fix, when to guide, and when to create space for others to grow.
So here’s the leadership challenge:
Under pressure, which listening mode do you default to? Are you listening to fix? To win? Or to learn?
Stay Curious,
Claire
Image by fauxels, courtesy of Pexels
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